Growing up in a toxic or traumatic environment can leave lasting marks on a person, from being overly critical to struggling with trust and self-esteem issues. Here are 18 common signs that someone might still be coping with the effects of a toxic childhood.
Disordered eating
Disordered eating has a strong correlation with early trauma, according to Science Direct. It’s common that those who suffer from eating disorders will have experienced trauma as children. A lot of adults who suffer from eating disorders are subconsciously attempting to numb the ongoing emptiness or loneliness they feel as a result of a toxic upbringing.
Fear of abandonment
Someone who may have been abandoned in childhood by toxic parents will likely grow up to experience issues around abandonment. An intense fear of being abandoned can lead to clingy or dependent behavior in relationships. The other side of this fear is that it can lead to avoiding close relationships altogether to prevent potential pain.
Chronic self-doubt
Growing up in a toxic environment often results in low self-esteem, as one may have had to deal with their worth and abilities being constantly belittled. This can manifest in later life as indecisiveness and difficulty making decisions, fearing they’ll always make the wrong choice.
Always on edge
Children from toxic backgrounds who were abused or manipulated in their youth may grow to be adults who are excessively alert, always on the lookout for danger or signs of betrayal. This heightened state of alertness can persist even in safe environments, leading to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Difficulty trusting people
A lack of trust developed because of betrayal or inconsistency during childhood can make forming healthy adult relationships challenging. Adults who had toxic childhoods may be excessively suspicious and paranoid and may even engage in behaviors aimed at testing the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends and partners, which will push them away in the long run.
Unreasonably independent
Refusing help is a protective mechanism that people who have a toxic childhood can develop. They’ll want to handle everything on their own, perhaps because they never had any help in their lives, or maybe any help given was conditional and came at a price, so now they believe that relying on others is unsafe.
Intensely controlling
Growing up surrounded by chaos can lead to an overwhelming need to control one’s environment and relationships as an adult. Inflexibility and a need for strict routines can be methods of managing anxiety about unpredictability.
Emotionally numb
Detachment from feelings or emotional numbness can be a coping strategy to avoid pain and vulnerability, especially in someone who has experienced emotional abuse in the past, according to Verywell Mind. This lack of emotional depth can create challenges in relationships and make emotional connections difficult.
Substance Abuse
When we feel pain, it’s a normal response to want to numb it. We can take something for a headache, but aspirin does nothing for emotional pain. Therefore, self-medication is common among those who are experiencing it, which can lead to the abuse of substances like drugs and alcohol to escape from the after-effects of a toxic childhood.
People-pleasing behavior
Sometimes, people from toxic backgrounds will go to great lengths to please others and avoid conflict. Children who have to work hard for attention will often develop people-pleasing skills, as they will have learned that it’s easier to make people happy by doing whatever they want. This spares them the emotional pain of feeling ignored and unwanted.
Chronic guilty feelings
Children are inclined to self-blame, so they frequently believe that they are to blame for what happened to them–or wasn’t happening to them. Feelings of unwarranted guilt for situations beyond their control can have a lasting impact, and those who have survived childhood family abuse are often left with intense feelings of guilt and shame.
Perfectionism
Although they are more likely to do well in stressful situations, children raised in emotionally tense situations also have a tendency toward perfectionism. Setting impossibly high standards for themselves can be a reaction to criticism or conditional love in childhood, and extreme anxiety or avoidant behaviors can go hand-in-hand with the fear of not meeting these standards.
Depression
A childhood of emotional abuse or neglect can lead to long-term sadness or clinical depression, notes Psych Central. This sadness might lead to withdrawing from activities once enjoyed or general apathy towards new experiences, and also result in constant feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem.
Avoidant Behavior
If a person experiences abuse or abandonment as a child, their fear of experiencing it again may prevent them from forming close relationships. Avoiding emotional closeness and intimacy can be a defense mechanism against potential heartbreak or betrayal, but avoidance can also impact professional relationships and career progression.
Black-and-white viewpoints
Seeing things in absolute terms, with no middle ground, can be a consequence of a rigid and uncompromising upbringing. A pattern of thinking with these polarized viewpoints can strain relationships in adult life, making compromise and understanding difficult.
Impulse control problems
Spending without thinking, impulsively lying or stealing, and gambling are just some examples of the reckless decisions that difficulties with impulse control may lead to. This need for immediate gratification often stems from an unstable childhood where long-term security was uncertain.
Anger and aggression
According to PTSD, the trauma of childhood abuse often leads to outbursts of anger and rage in later life. Childhood experiences of abuse and violence are the most typical precursors to these behaviors. Unresolved anger from childhood might manifest in later life as aggressive behavior and difficulty handling criticism without becoming defensive or lashing out.
Oversensitivity to emotions
A person who was brought up in a particularly stressful environment can read too much into meaningless situations as an adult. Being overly sensitive to others’ moods can result from needing to be constantly aware of potential danger in childhood. This sensitivity can lead to social anxiety and misunderstanding in interactions.
Up Next: 19 Signs That Say You’ve Officially Entered Old Age
Old age comes for us all, though we do our best to resist it for as long as possible. But aging isn’t only gray hair, wrinkled skin, and yelling at kids to get off your lawn. Here are 19 signs you’ve realized you’re no longer the young stud you once were!
19 SIGNS THAT SAY YOU’VE OFFICIALLY ENTERED OLD AGE
17 Things That Are Too Woke For Boomers
Our society is so different from what it was decades ago, and boomers don’t like much of what everyone considers normal in today’s society. In this light, here are 17 things about ‘woke culture’ that particularly make boomers uncomfortable.
17 THINGS THAT ARE TOO WOKE FOR BOOMERS
17 Things You’re Just Too Old To Be Doing Anymore
The older you get, the more fragile you are physically and mentally, so it’s important to prioritize your well-being every day. Whether you still feel young at 50 or are closer to 80, we’ve compiled 17 things you’re too old to be doing anymore.