Passivity isn’t necessarily a negative personality trait, but a lack of confrontation skills, decisiveness, and goal-setting can seriously impact someone’s happiness, success, and self-respect. So, what are the tell-tale signs of being too laid back? Here, we explore 17 common behaviors associated with excessive passivity and explain how they’re holding you back.
Avoiding Confrontation
Maricopa Community Colleges writes, “The goal of passivity is to appease others and to avoid conflict at any cost. Nonassertive or passive people may complain but usually do nothing to gain control in their argumentative environment because they fear they will lose from additional conflict encounters.” This can lead to unresolved issues and ongoing disrespect.
Difficulty Expressing Opinions
Being nonassertive often makes it difficult to express one’s opinion, particularly if it differs from that of others. According to the SPSSI, this can result in passive individuals becoming mere ‘bystanders’ in life—always on the outside looking in but rarely contributing and never actively involved in group discussions or decision-making.
Excessive Niceness
Passive individuals tend to be overly agreeable, even at the cost of their personal feelings and needs, because they seek approval and fear upsetting others. The Invisible Man states that this often results in them being unliked because people lose respect and trust in passive individuals and may even exploit this niceness for their own means.
No Boundaries
People who are too passive struggle with setting personal boundaries and rarely complain when these are breached. While this behavior comes from a desire to avoid confrontation and appear agreeable, it can result in significant discomfort, unhappiness, and even abuse as they’re easily overwhelmed and exploited by others.
Procrastination
Being passive often means finding it difficult to focus and prioritize tasks for fear of stress, judgment, or failure. This deep-rooted fear of making mistakes can significantly impact their ability to make decisions, start projects, and complete tasks, often leading to a cycle of inaction and regret that is difficult to break.
Lack of Initiative
Modern Ghana says, “A passive person lacks initiative; they are often overwhelmed by events in their own lives.” Poor initiative has multiple adverse effects, including a lack of professional success, reliance on others, and a failure to set or achieve personal goals. It leaves a passive person feeling helpless, aimless, and stagnant, severely stunting personal growth.
Failure to Advocate for Themselves
If you’re so passive that you can’t communicate your own needs, that can seriously impact your physical and mental health. A reluctance to assert what they need is a common passive trait, and it can make relationships and workplaces particularly uncomfortable and soul-destroying and impact a person’s sense of self-worth.
Over-Reliance on Others
Passivity often goes hand-in-hand with an over-dependence on others and an inability to make important decisions about one’s own life. A recent study reports that this reliance stems from a lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities, so they make others responsible for making important choices. This can lead to them following life paths that don’t make them happy.
Minimal Risk-Taking
Overly passive people tend to be fearful and unconfident, so it makes sense that they struggle to take risks and often avoid situations that will test them or potentially result in failure. Yet the old adage ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ holds true here, with the likely result of such passivity being missed opportunities and a lack of achievement.
Inability to Say ‘No’
If you find yourself saying ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no,’ your passivity may be putting you under undue discomfort and stress. Being unable to refuse when others ask for favors means prioritizing the needs of others over your own—a recipe for overcommitment, exhaustion, resentment, and a lack of self-worth.
No Conflict Resolution Skills
According to InLyfe, failing to enter conflicts means that passive individuals never learn how to express themselves while respecting the feelings of others, which is a vital life skill. This makes them poor at advocating for themselves when they’ve been misunderstood or wronged, which often means they automatically ‘lose’ arguments in relationships and workplaces.
Avoiding Responsibility
Passive people don’t have much faith in themselves, so offloading responsibility onto someone else is an alluring option. This behavior stems from feelings of inadequacy and a fear of criticism or failure. Unfortunately, never taking responsibility means it’s difficult to progress at work, build healthy relationships, or learn new skills.
Submissive Body Language
Just like in a wolf pack, people who consider themselves to be ‘lower ranking’ members of human society show visual deference to ‘stronger’ individuals. Such submissive body language can include avoiding eye contact, closed postures (like hunched shoulders), and always staying on the outskirts, often diminishing the person’s sense of worth and equality.
Need For External Validation
If you rely completely on others to feel good about yourself, your self-confidence and trust in your own opinions will diminish. Psych Central states that this lack of internal self-assurance is common in passive individuals and often results from low self-esteem, making them rely heavily on the praise and approval of others to feel worthwhile.
Over-Apologizing
Unnecessary apologizing is common in passive individuals who are constantly seeking to appear agreeable and avoid conflicts. But constantly taking the blame or saying ‘sorry’ unnecessarily makes other people perceive them as weak or incapable, ultimately resulting in a lack of respect.
Resisting Change
Passive people fear the unknown and make mistakes, so they strongly prefer familiar routines and often get nervous in unpredictable or volatile environments. Being less adaptable than those around them can result in reduced performance and personal growth, as well as elevated stress levels.
Prioritizing Others
Being passive and overly nice means prioritizing others’ needs over your own to be liked or avoid conflict. This behavior has its roots in a lack of self-worth and a desire to please others above all else. Unfortunately, less passive individuals often see this as a weakness and will lose respect or, worse, take advantage!